My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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