God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
