So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize