I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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