I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
