Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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