He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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