I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize