I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
