the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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