Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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