I can't breathe out the right side of my face
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize