omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
