the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
