He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
