I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
