Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
