Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
