Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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