Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
