I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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