Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
