Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize