no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's always time for handjobs
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
