So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
