Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize