Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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