My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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