you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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