I'm going to jail i love you
Pappa wants mamma naked
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
