oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
