can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
