Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
