wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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