respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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