worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
