Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
