I love black thongs
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
