I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
