I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
