you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
