Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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