My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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