U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
