Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
