i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
