Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
