He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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