at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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