Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
