I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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