I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
