I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
