Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
