I swear she didn't look like that last week.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
