your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
