Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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