No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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