Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
