Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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