I think I just saw someone hide a body.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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