it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
