So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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