Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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