But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
