But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
