is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize