i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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