SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
