just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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