Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize